Regret

Last week, there were a bunch of JPA scholars going around the hospital. All these kids (yes, kids) want to become doctors.

I wish I could have told them what they were getting into.
I wanted to shout at them and tell then to go find something else to do..anything but become a doctor. (For some reason, I was feeling really, really low that week)

The problem is, they come in the morning when we are busy doing our rounds - time when we rush from one patient to another and have no time to waste. Why can't they come later if they really want to know what it is like? I actually told one of them to come back later around lunch time, but sadly no one turned up.

In between patients, I managed to ask one of the kids - "why do you want to become a doctor?"
His reply (like it was taken straight out of a text book) - "I want to serve the nation".
Then go become a soldier or policeman or fireman la!

Why did I want to become a doctor?
I don't really know.
I thought it would be exciting - something new everyday.
How wrong I was.
The same patients day in and day out. Review and take blood and review and take blood.
Where is the excitement?
Maybe that is why I enjoyed the labor room - it was really a happening place..

Sometimes I really regret the choices that I have made.
But then I can't help but wonder if I would be feeling the same way had I done something else with my life.
If only I could rewind and re-live my life..would I have chosen this profession?

Come to think of it, how many people can actually say that they really enjoy doing what they are doing?
Maybe what I am feeling is a normal thing..maybe it is just a passing feeling...hopefully I can find something that I would like doing, something that will make me feel excited instead of dread..

One thing I am sure about though..don't do medicine. Go do something else.
As it is, there are too many of us around.
If you are going to do medicine and graduate in a few years time, there just might not be any work available for you...then you are stuck because there is nothing else you can do, no where else you can work (private hospitals are not going to take you when you are a fresh grad with no experience..)

Think hard..don't make the same mistake I think I did..