At The Beginning Again

I can't believe it's been 4 months since I started working.
Time just passed by so fast.

Today was my last day at work in Paeds Ipoh.
In a way, I am sad.
I am going to miss all the staff nurses, the MOs, the specialists, the housemen and (although I can't believe I am saying this) the babies.
Some of the MOs are really nice, and some of the specialists make me feel so protected - like I can depend on them; will it be the same in the new department?

No more cute patients.
No more pm off when I am postcall.
From now on, it's all about fractures and dislocations and surgeries and OTs.

I don't know why I am feeling this way - it's like I am going to move to a new place alltogether.
Of course some of my friends will be changing departments just like me, but the MOs and specialists and staffnurses will be totally different.
I have to adjust all over again, make friends all over again - something I am really bad at doing.

Do I like paeds?
I don't know.
Do I hate paeds?
No.
Will I specialize in paeds?
I don't know.

Next department - Ortho.
I don't know anything about Ortho.
It's like learning a whole new language.
I would probably be tagging for a week - a week to learn whatever there is to learn about Ortho. A week to prove myself worthy enough to do calls.
In a week, I must be able to manage Ortho cases by myself.
How am I ever going to do that?!

I am afraid.
Afraid I won't be able to cope.
Expectations will be a bit higher now since I am considered a 2nd poster.
I am afraid.

I am going to miss paeds.
I am already missing paeds.
I am moving out of my comfort zone...